Blind Date
by dellums
Summary: "Zexion, you are going to go out with this freak, and you are going to like it. Demyx, you succeed in making him gay, and we won't have any problems. Simple as that." In which Axel plays match-maker for his loser friends and Demyx eats a banana split the only way one really even can eat a banana split - with unintentionally sexual undertones.


_[author's notes.]_

_Sorry to those who want more Hetalia stuff from me. I'll get some more out later, I promise!_

_But I just wanted to get at least something up this week, and then I have to finish up this essay and turn it in online. If I do, my daddy's picking me up early from school tomorrow to go to Body Worlds - a place I've already been, mind you~ And... I really love getting out of school |D_

_So, here's something Zemyx-y (a kind-of-secret passion of mine). I hope you like it c:_

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><p><strong>Blind Date.<strong>

There were many things wrong with his friends. Zexion knew this to be a fact. He had come to accept it a few years ago, actually. It was sad, really. Zexion wasn't one to go out and take it upon himself to meet people or talk to them, but when people took it upon _themselve_s to talk to _him_, they were all insane. There wasn't one normal person that he could easily identify as his "friend". No, no. He had to draw in the "weirdos". Perfect.

He'd grown accustomed to them doing or saying completely absurd things. So when Axel showed up at Zexion's front door with a heavy-looking bag slung over his shoulder, announcing something about having good news, Zexion wasn't too concerned. He simply sighed inwardly and opened the door, allowing Axel room to pass.

"Come on, get dressed!" the redhead declared immediately, a bit too loud, tossing the bag at Zexion.

The shorter of the two frowned at it, and then up at Axel, and then at the luggage again. "... Excuse me?"

"There are clothes in the bag for you. Roxy helped pick 'em out. Now, go. Get. Dressed." Axel gravitated toward the TV. Digging through the couch cushions for the remote, he threw a smile over his shoulder at Zexion, which made his dumb tattoos scrunch up oddly. "It's important."

Zexion picked the remote up off the coffee table and handed it to Axel ("Oh.. You really should put this somewhere easier to find."), saying, "Where are we going?"

"Not 'we', my friend. _You_. You are going out tonight, on a date."

The word slapped Zexion hard across the face, and he blinked his eyes wide open. "... Begging your pardon?"

"A date, man. I got you a date. Now hurry. You're being picked up in, like, nine minutes."

Zexion wanted to strangle and throttle Axel, and then beat his lifeless skull in with a frying pan. He wanted to hurt the man. He wanted to bleach his hair a stark blond while he was sleeping and draw childish things on his face with a permanent marker. But he was a little more mature than that. Instead, Zexion cleared his throat and calmly asked, "What on earth possessed you to do such a stupid thing?"

Axel shrugged, his attention completely on what Zexion realized was a re-run of _Jersey Shore_. "I'm bored and you're lonely."

Rather than argue with the redhead, Zexion decided it would be easier to just comply. As a withering sigh left his mouth, he trudged into his bedroom, just barely restraining himself from slamming the door.

* * *

><p>Demyx knocked happily on the door of the stranger's house, humming along to a song he'd heard earlier on the radio. He checked his appearance quickly in the reflection of a window, running a hand through his hair. A moment later, Axel pulled back the curtains and grinned at him. Demyx waved. The redhead disappeared and was opening the door for him within the next second.<p>

"Hey, Dem. Zexion'll be out in a minute."

Demyx shrugged. "Alright." Looking around, he noticed how _clean and orderly_ everything was. He couldn't help but compare it to his own home, and it made him feel like a slob with no interior-decorating abilities. Frowning, he leaned back against the door and watched Axel migrate to the couch. "So, this guy's _really_ gay, huh? I mean, his house is so nice..."

"Who? Zexion?" Axel snorted and waved away the thought. "God, no. He's terribly asexual. Painfully so."

Demyx scratched his head. "Wait... then why am _I_ here...?"

"Well, you're going to _make_ him gay," Axel replied, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth. "It should be easy. I have faith in you."

"Huh? But, Axel, I can't just -" Demyx broke off from his whining as the door directly to his left opened, and someone rather short ran into him.

"Oh, sorr - ... You have got to be kidding me." Zexion glowered across the room at Axel, who was snickering evilly. "Are you... who he set me up with?" he asked Demyx slowly, as if he were afraid of the answer.

Demyx blinked. "If you're Zexion, then yup. I'm Demyx!" He smiled and offered his hand out to Zexion.

The shorter boy lightly shook the other's hand, sighing. "Look, I'm sorry, Demyx. I can't do this; I'm not... a homosexual."

"Oh, I know," he replied happily. "You're 'terribly asexual'. But that's okay, we can still go out as friends, right? I wouldn't want to waste the night, and you look pretty nice. It'd be a shame _not_ to go out, now that you're all dressed up."

Zexion never got the chance to politely turn him down.

Axel stood up at that moment and swept the door open, shoving them both outside. "I agree with Demyx. Now, go. You two have fun, alright?" As fast as the door had been opened, it was closed, shut with a **slam!**

Demyx was the first to break the awkward silence. "So.. where to first, buddy?"

"Don't call me that."

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><p>Zexion watched Demyx. He watched him the entire time they were out, just in case the blond tried something. Zexion wasn't normally the most trusting person on the block, so being forced to go out and "have fun" with a complete stranger was grating on his nerves. Paranoia crept in through his pores every time he turned his back on Demyx or lost sight of him.<p>

His basic characterization thus far was this:

**Demyx, age seventeen. **

**Friend of Axel, and possibly Roxas.**

**Slightly stupid, and probably very mentally unstable.**

**He talks too much, and his legs are too long.**

**His ears are pierced and his hair adds an extra four inches to his height.**

**Blue-green eyes.**

**Easily-excitable.**

**Kind of good-looking.**

**... Kind of.**

**Should not be allowed to have sugar.**

Zexion was rather satisfied with himself, he realized, as he narrowed his eyes across the table at Demyx. This was their last stop of the night: some cheap diner. The kind with tiled floors and messy tables with plastic, red booths. He had managed to come up with a whole list of _what defined Demyx_ – Demyx, who was a complete stranger. Demyx, whose personality seemed to be everywhere all at once. Demyx, who was... eating his dessert in a rather... suggestive way...

Zexion immediately blanched and peeled his eyes away, trying to clear the image of Demyx and that tongue and that spoon and _all that ice cream_ from his mind, because really. There was no need to dwell on such things. Not that he had enjoyed Demyx's little show in any way at all. In fact, the word "repulsive" instantly came to mind when that picture showed up in his head. ... And, boy, did that picture show up quite a bit...

_No!_ The shorter of the two clamped his eyes shut and internally scolded himself. This wasn't right! Zexion was... well, he was _Zexion_. The man who despised the whole of the human race. The man that bordered slightly on _antisocial_. The man who never, _ever_ had a crush on someone!

It wasn't so much that Demyx was a male. No, Zexion had a harder time getting over the fact that Demyx was a _person_. Normally, something like this wouldn't have bothered him. Normally, Zexion would have blown it off and eventually his little "situation" would have disappeared. Evaporated. But as that image of Demyx and that banana split... whipped cream and vanilla ice cream and cherries _galore_ once again made its ghastly reappearance behind his closed eyes, Zexion found himself wondering, _Did that honestly turn me on?_

"Zexion? Hey, Zexy, you okay?"

A gentle poke to his shoulder forced him to snap his eyes open and jerk his head up, staring directly at a concerned-looking Demyx. Zexion regained his composure and nodded, a second too fast to seem casual. "I'm fine, just a small headache."

Demyx frowned and nodded in complete, sincere understanding. "It must be the tacky music. I mean, really? Who plays Britney Spears in a '50s diner, anyway?"

Zexion found himself suddenly agreeing with the blond weirdo, noticing for the first time the unmistakable sound of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" wailing from a nearby jukebox. The song clashed terribly with the atmosphere of the restaurant. "Is it a bad thing that I know all of the words?" he asked - almost groaned - rhetorically, shaking his head sadly.

Demyx laughed then, pushing his dish away and leaning back. "No way; _everyone_ knows this song. I'm pretty sure I even have this album in my car somewhere..." At the strange look he received from his date, Demyx held up his hands in a way that seemed to say _Hey, don't judge me_. "My childhood was filled to the brim with The Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, and ABBA. I had a hard time making friends in high school..."

Before he could stop it, a tiny smile crawled onto Zexion's face. "That's unfortunate."

"Mm. So, what kinda music do _you_ like then? Clearly not the good old Queen of Pop." A crooked grin lit up Demyx's expression and he leaned forward on his elbows, seeming interested.

"I'm not too picky, I must say. My mom liked classical, and my dad listened to hard rock."

"Weird combination," Demyx observed, absently handing his credit card to the waitress as she came back with their check. She blinked and shrugged, moving back to the register.

"I suppose so..."

They spoke mindlessly for a few more minutes, before the waitress came back for the last time, smiling and wishing them a good night. Zexion nodded at her and Demyx shook her hand, praising her for her brilliant serving, which, he claimed, had most certainly added an extra-special _kick_ to both of their meals.

Before Zexion could realize that Demyx really wasn't as bad as he'd thought, the blond felt the need to strike an absurd pose and exclaim, "To the Demmy-Mobile!", keys jangling in his hand.

Zexion rolled his eyes and walked past him, out the door.

* * *

><p>The car ride back to Zexion's humble abode was far too short. They spent a good seven minutes in the parking lot of the diner, searching relentlessly for the Britney Spears CD, which had been hidden between the pages of a colossal folder of sheet music. Demyx sang cheerfully along to the CD once. By the time it started re-playing, most of his energy had been wasted and he realized that Britney kind of... sucked. So he tossed the disc out his window, and turned the radio on, volume low. Zexion had been wholly entertained, at least, with the blond's dramatic, flailing gestures, and a bit fearful for his life whenever Demyx's hands left the wheel.<p>

They didn't talk much, which was fine with Zexion, but he could tell that Demyx was itching for conversation, squirming restlessly in his seat. Well, too bad. If he wanted to talk, _he _would have to say something first.

And he never did.

It was another sixteen minutes of quiet driving before Demyx turned into Zexion's neighborhood, and only three more before his car pulled up to the house. Axel's sad excuse for a vehicle was long gone by then.

"So, um..."

Zexion, fingers lightly touching the door handle, turned around and delicately raised an eyebrow at his companion. "So...?"

"I, um. I - I had a really great time, and, well... Uh... I was wondering if, maybe, you... well, I mean, I don't really - I can't... It's just that... Er..." Demyx fumbled with his seat belt as he tripped over his words, not daring to meet Zexion's steely gaze.

_Oh, for the love of God_. The slate-haired man rolled his eyes and quickly leaned over, pressing a soft, rather brave kiss to Demyx's cheek. He tried not to notice that his lips landed a bit too close to the corner of the blond's mouth. "Same time next week, then?"

Demyx's subtle blush was hardly visible in the dark of the night, but his grin seemed brighter than the moon. He nodded enthusiastically, eyes glazed over. "Yes, please."

"Sounds good. Pick me up at seven." Zexion opened his door and got out of the car. As he was walking around to the front door of his house, he heard Demyx getting out of the car as well. Smirking a bit, Zexion turned around and looked curiously up at the other, who seemed flushed and embarrassed.

"I... You're cute," Demyx said quickly, and crushed his lips against Zexion's. The kiss ended quickly, but it left them both dazed and short of breath and very warm. Blinking a few times and smiling goofily, Demyx patted Zexion on the head. "F-Friday at seven. Good. See ya, Zexy."

* * *

><p>He watched as Zexion stumbled slightly back into his house, dropping his keys a few times. Demyx grinned and snorted, feeling a bit light-headed from their kiss. "Asexual, my <em>ass<em>."

_**~le end.**_


End file.
